Traveling to places with Energy

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about Salem, Massachusetts. I had my trusty SALEM sweatshirt on and she asked me where I got that. I replied that I visited there about 5 years ago. We then delved in to about how she’s always wanted to go and I encouraged her to go, and told her I would take a road trip with her to go back there. The reason being is that town was more than just an old resting place for some traumatic, bloodied history. It had Energy.

I realize growing up that I visited many places like this — Niagara Falls with all the rushing water you couldn’t help but feel your senses heightened with the buzzing of the roaring waters. We visited Gettysburg, as well. Easily one of the most ‘alive’ of all the places I have been. It was the site of the only haunting I have ever witnessed amidst all the violent history that was cultivated there. Savannah, Georgia was another place… a very eclectic feel and so much has happened there in terms of their history. The Great Fires of 1796 and the displacement of homes that were moved and rebuilt, along with all the cemeteries the city always felt rife with unsettled Energy.

Recently, I went to New Orleans, Louisiana and the trip was not what I anticipated. While there is an energy there, it is masked by the partying and the nightlife. I do believe it is similar to Savannah in a way with its energy. So much is going on there. You have your party people, you have all the people interested in the dead and the cemeteries, you have the artists, you have people coming from all around the world. It truly was experiencing the core of a melting pot.


I went to New Orleans to experience something spiritual, but ended up with something entirely different. While there were certain aspects that were spiritual, it ended up being a test in energy transference, almost. I say this because it’s the best way I know how to describe what was going on. We were always so inundated with everything going on around you — the peddlers, the salespeople, the musicians, the natives — it was just so haphazard so instead you had to learn how to guard yourself and your energy (not to mention it was… fairly dangerous with two women walking around.)

So New Orleans taught me something entirely different when I went down there. It taught me that sometimes you get Exactly what you asked for; I wanted to experience a place with energy and I got all of it, all at once. New Orleans was a blast and has everything and anything you could be looking for, I highly recommend it. Just be sure to stay in a group and keep yourself aware of your surroundings.

My hope is to go back to the places listed above, but also find some new places with different types of energy. Maybe you have some suggestions, I am certainly all ears.



My experience with the Church

This is going to be a fun one. I guess this was a long time coming, or I suppose based on recent posts it could seem to come full circle. I think it’s time.

To preface all of this, in no way am I being preachy…. this is my experience, my life, and how I wish to live it. If for some reason this offends you then good — I am here to weed out the people in my life that don’t understand how to be supportive, or in the very least, understanding. That being said, if you have questions I am always here to help answer them. After this initial post there will be a follow up one clarifying some of the vague bits for those interested.

83f0f6c09090d5a8180280c2eebb870b-church-banners-mosaic-mirrors.jpg  I was born and raised Baptist. I remember our Baptist church intricately — the mosaic tiled windows, the big congregation hall, and the smell… it always had a distinct smell of cleanliness. My family never quite took church too seriously. My dad would occasionally go on bouts where he would tell us, “we needed churchin’ up,” and coming from a catholic background, to him, I suppose we did. We were good kids though — brats because we were spoiled, but we were brought up right and developed decent morals over time, regardless of church.

Being baptist was unremarkable, mainly because I was younger and so uninterested in the topic. It was beyond boring. I remember going to Sunday school and being bored or sitting in on the sermon that felt like eons of droning on and on. I personally learned very little from this time, and got very good at tuning out any type of message that was being brought forth, I just could never get behind it.

As I said previously, we were good kids, so by the time extracurriculars got very time consuming my parents laid off on the whole church bandwagon. We were seemingly doing just fine without it. Then my best friend at the time invited me to a church when I was about sixteen. At first I was very hesitant. I had many questions, but the Youth leaders were great and the community at this church was awesome. It did not take long for me to become Pentecostal. That was the denomination of the Church and I started attending 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 or 5 depending upon the activities going on at the church.

I loved that church and I loved that community. Nothing could knock the fact that these people were in there doing God’s work because, to them, they were. I met people I will know the rest of my life there, in fact, my good friend that helps me with making videos is a direct result of me going to that church. I will never regret my time there. However, the Christian church and the Pentecostal faith in particular is very lacking when it came to meeting my needs.

I was so enamored by how much I loved being there and around the people that I was turning a blind eye to the messages. Often times they would tell us how to vote. “I am not saying you should vote this way buttt……” That happened one too many times for my liking. They were very brainwashing in their beliefs — secular music was frowned upon, once saved was not always saved and you actively had to live a God-filled life to achieve Heaven, and then of course the Holy Ghost.

For those unaware (because I was ignorant on this before being a part of this type of church) there are entire sects of the Christian religion that believe whole-heartedly in the Trinity — The Son, the Father, the Holy Ghost. And when I mean we believed it… we believed in speaking tongues. There were times entire sermons were derailed because during worship (singing portion of church) people would cry out in another language and someone would interpret this. I won’t go in to much detail here, because I do plan to do a video explaining what I am talking about in more depth, but suffice it to say it is very surreal experiencing this. But again, I didn’t really care because I just loved being a  part of that congregation so much. It felt like a home away from home.

So you can imagine my conundrum when I got away from that church, went to college, and started studying psychology. While a part of me wanted to stand up for this sect of this religion another portion of me realized very quickly how cult-like and brainwashing the tactics were. It was similar to my mind being in a foggy haze and then clearing up all of a sudden. I started realizing this was not how I wanted to live my life, and those were not ideals I wanted to live by. I had a sound moral compass I didn’t have to continue working on that in order to be a good person.

Now I realize to many people, they love the Church. To many people, their faith is a big portion of who they are and what they believe, and that is great. For me, at one time in my life, it was as well. But understand I am at a very different portion of my life that requires none of the crutches that come with organized religion.

Fast forward to being well out of college and living in Denver. I had just broken up with my boyfriend at the time and was planning on moving home. In order to cope with this, I turned to an online game I enjoyed playing and someone that I met on there piqued my interest. We started dating, I suppose you could say… all things considered, even though I had never physically met him. As you can imagine, it did not end well. He actually had a wife, and in order to break up with me he told me that his deacon position at his church would not allow him to pursue me and the lustful ways he was thinking about me…. Yeah, utter bull shit. A little bit of deep diving exposed him for exactly what he was… a Snake. But, a thing to note is that he was highly religious… even was going to be considered for deacon at this Church he went to.

Imagine my frustration, yet again, that the Church and the people in the Church were letting me down…. brainwashing me in to believing a lie. I lost it. I was so hurt after recently having to uproot my life, and thinking I could trust a man of God of all things, I just was utterly heart broken. So I vowed to find something else. Find something the opposite of the Christian religion because it just kept burning me. It lied, manipulated, and snaked its way in to my heart and I felt lied to over and over again. I would be a Christian no more, I thought. So I finally did something about it.

In an act of defiance, I suppose, I started researching other religions. From taking several Religions’ courses in college I knew I didn’t prescribe to Eastern ideology. While Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism all were very fascinating to me in their own right they just didn’t accurately describe what I was looking for in a religion. I wanted something that held my attention and kept it, I wanted something that vibrated with me on physical, emotional, and spiritual level. I ended up looking far back in to the idea of Greek mythos. I took a college course on this as well, and loved it. It was anything but boring, and the further I looked in to it, the weirder it became. I needed a marriage of the ideas behind Greek mythology and the beautiful take away from Eastern religions…. And if you haven’t guessed it already, the answer was Paganism (specifically witchcraft).

And boy oh boy do I know how ‘crazy’ that sounds. But since I was a little girl I have always loved the idea of witches, and crafting magick, and anything and everything that has to do with them. But I was not going to do what I did previously, and that was blindly follow what I read and saw. I went in skeptical, extremely skeptical — if everyone could be a Witch why wouldn’t they be? If everyone could be magical, wouldn’t they want that? The simple answer, is no. The complex answer is we all are to varying degrees. But suffice it to say, I did my work. I did my research and I put in the time, and studied what I would be doing.

When first learning any type of Pagan tradition it is usually met with the Year and a Day motto. Study for a year and a day and then start to adhere the teachings to your life. While I am generally impatient there is a good reason for this. They do not want just anyone coming in to religion without prior knowledge, and they want it to be a right fit for you. So I read…. for much longer than a year and a day, accumulated items that would later help me work my magick so to speak, and eventually it met every criteria I was looking for. It isn’t pushy, you do it at your pace. It isn’t preachy — most books straight up tell you that this mind set does not work for everyone, and that we do NOT proselytize our message. It is fluid, if something doesn’t work for you… don’t do it, or adhere this teaching in another way. You are your own teacher… guide — everything. What you put in you get out, and I can tell you after about 4 years of being a part of this, I have never been so fulfilled by an ideology in my life.

But enough gushing… as I am not here to convert, but rather I want people to know my story, because I feel like many people can relate. They just often times do nothing about their situations. Understand that whether religion is right for you or not… there is always something out there that will prescribe to your lifestyle, and if there isn’t something feel free to make it up. That’s what being spiritual is all about. With all things, question what you see, what you believe and how you feel, ESPECIALLY if those people are telling you Not to.

I will eventually detail some more of this, but for now that is enough for one day.

Thanks for reading,


I got a YouTube shout out

To people that know me, it is nothing new that I love YouTube. I would much rather watch personal created content than movies and TV shows, often times. In fact, I would say I mostly consume my news, memes, and entertainment from YouTube. A personal preference, as I am aware most people think my borderline obsession with it is somewhat weird. I just love the idea of a platform made by anyone and everyone. Even commentors get to take part in a community they help create.

Imagine my excitement when I got a shout out from my current Youtube obsession, TheRewiredSoul. His channel is all about mental health and Psychology and I just really love the nods to neuroscience and peer reviewed studies in his videos. He pumps out a lot of content and I just really enjoy almost all of it.

A week or so back I tweeted at him about some ‘YouTube drama’, I guess we could call it. Jesus Christ aka SoCalChrist on the YouTube platform was in an ongoing custody battle for his children. While this is not unusual, his particular situation was confounded by the Mormon Church. In his original video asking for aid, he called them a Cult (specifically the Church of Latter-Day Saints.) SoCal Christ turned his back on the Mormon church, his family, and his marriage because he felt, I assume, brainwashed by this church, saying he owed his enlightened situation to YouTube because without this he would have never known better. Fast forward to an intense custody still waging on today, he was out of funds to go to court with his wife… and the backing of the money of the Mormon church.

This screamed, make a video response to me. You have the added topic of cult psychology, which is usually a favorite topic in the Psych community, but you also had a beloved YouTuber in peril. I tweeted at TheRewiredSoul2019-01-23 (2)

Not thinking I would get much of a response, I closed Twitter, as I often do, because I don’t care for the platform…. BUT he responded saying he would check it out later!

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I was shocked, while his YouTube platform isn’t huge with only 87k subscribers, he is gaining a lot of traction on the platform, as of late, and my guess is he will hit that 1 million mark this year. And he responded to me… of all people! I was excited that he just read my tweet. Imagine my surprise when he frickin’ put me in his video about SoCal Christ!!!!

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Here is the video for context… Give it 20 seconds — I’m mentioned at 2:47.


I’m just so flattered. I know this does not seem like a big deal to most of you, and I get that, but this to me is so awesome. The fact that there is a platform where bigger names take content and suggestions from fans and reply in return, just really is what the internet is all about, and is what I love about YouTube.

So there is me geeking out for 10 minutes. Thanks for the read


P.S. Check out TheRewiredSoul on all his handles





Why I love to Bartend so much

On a busy Friday night you will find me behind a large U-shaped bar made of copper. It seats about 22 people and on a good night those seats are almost all full and the drinks are flowing. People that work with me, probably don’t see the side of me that loves bartending. Sadly, our job, a customer service job particularly one at a restaurant is filled the need to vent so we don’t lose our minds. At least for me it is necessary, I guess I might just be a bit more emotional than some of my other co-workers.

All that aside, I do love my job. It’s challenging. Every day I go in it is different. I see different people, hear different things. I have a lot of the same regulars but there are always new things to catch up on, new drinks to try and sell, and a whole host of problems front of the house and back of the house that need constant attention. In fact, I believe I ended up back in the restaurant industry because I get bored at other 9-5 jobs… especially desk jobs. They just can’t engage me like the restaurant can. I am everything at all times there. I am a bartender but I am also part inventory maker, part mixologist, part server, and part therapist. Sometimes all at the same time.

I love making drinks. Nothing is more satisfying than having a special that you made up for some liquor that you had too much of, and watching it sell til you are out of said over stocked item. I guess that must be what a cook feels when someone reports back that they like something, it is very satisfying. At the end of your shift you get to see how well you did, monetarily, but nothing in the moment is better than someone saying that something you made for a special or especially for them hits the spot.

The chaos is also… oddly addicting. On nights that you get in to a groove, it is equally satisfying. The bar is slammed and the bar patrons just watched you pump out drinks for the rest of the restaurant and you got their food out on time. Those are the nights we live for, we don’t always get them, but when we do it justifies all your hard work you put in to hone your skills.

While being in a restaurant my whole life is not my idea of paradise, it currently suits my needs. Financially I am taken care of, I fit in well and am good at my job, and most importantly I am challenged daily. For right now, I couldn’t ask for much more. These feelings wax and wane just like anything else in life, but generally, I am a pretty happy bartender lady that now enjoys getting tattoos and piercings (the industry must be rubbing off on me, lol.) My hope is that the money doesn’t run dry. So drink up bitches, I’ll be your bartender for tonight 😉

Tarot Decks — My latest obsession

I’ve begun collecting Tarot decks. I started collecting them because I love the imagery and the story the deck tells. The variation in my decks have gotten vast, and each one of my decks hold a special place in my heart. In 2019 due to my increased interest in Tarot and my growing collection, I plan to expand my services to more than just my friends. I feel like I have gotten to know my decks well enough to customize readings and I feel like I can offer insights to more than just people I know.

To give some of you some background on what Tarot is and what it is not let’s start with the deck itself. The standard tarot deck has 78 cards. 22 major arcana cards (e.g. Death, Justice, The Lovers) and 56 minor arcana divided in to 4 suits with 14 cards a piece (10 being the journey and 4 court cards.) Between the major and minor arcana you have a whole host of information, while the Major arcana often depicts life changing events the minor arcana tells you about people in your life, relationships, money issues, and even mental barriers you may have to break down. The 4 suits for the minor arcana are Swords (action, conflict, mental,) cups (relationships, emotions) pentacles (money, career,) and wands (ambitions, creativity.) The Court cards within these 4 suits reflect people in your life that you know or may have yet to meet, and for me personally are the hardest to read given most circumstances.

Tarot does Not necessarily tell you a future you’re going to be looking in to, rather it tells you a journey or gives you a snap shot of what may come. My readings are often twofold, I tell you what the card represents and then I tell you my intuitive pull on said card. Just because I pull a 3 of Swords — a card of betrayal — does not mean your husband will cheat on you in the next 9 months. The betrayal can come in many forms, and while I like to give a blanket description of the cards, I often times, while talking things over with  my clients feel some cards pull more importantly, than others.

Tarot is Not going to answer all your problems. Often times, there is no simple yes or no to any answer, why in the world would a complex set of 78 cards with all different meanings give you anything completely clear? In some cases, they do give you clear yes and no, but that happens very few and far between. Your reading more than likely will give you, the person I am reading for, the tools to answer your own questions. I remember specifically pulling for someone in regards to her current boyfriend. I kept pulling the same card — 10 of Wands (blockage, burden) — I told her twice that I thought he was wrong for her, and instead she did some mental jumps to insinuate that it was in reference to some guy she had been seeing on the side. 7 months later, they were finally no longer a thing… She was the blockage in that scenario, mentally blocking herself from seeing the answer… even the cards could see this, and tried to warn her not once, but twice!

Tarot Will give you what you put in to it. If you are a believer, those readings usually go very well, but even for my skeptical friends who had an open mind it was interesting what unfolded. I have with a few select people, converted skeptics in to believers and I wish to do this more going forward.

I am currently in the process of setting up a shop for this. For now, if any person that does not know me directly would like to take me up on this my email is Please put something about Tarot in the title. My hope is to do a skype call of some sort, but in the event that you cannot manage something like that I can do discord, messaging or even email through the various internet mediums.

I am just starting with this so readings will begin at just 5 dollars.

((**Disclaimer: The readings are for entertainment purposes and I cannot guarantee readings will be exactly what you want.**))

Production — And how it’s saved my creative Edge

I have always been a creative person. When I was very young I loved the idea of making videos, editing music together to create something different. Those passions would later turn in to big portions of my life. I did theatre and choir in High School, and now I Produce films in my spare time doing everything from directing to editing and anything in between.

I wish I could still do choir and theatre in the capacity I used to, however, with my job it just doesn’t ever work. Filming is something I can do in my spare time, and wok around schedules to suit my needs. It’s hard work too and requires a lot of planning, preparing, and of course creativity.

My hope is that in the New Year I am able to get out multiple projects I have started. We have some very simple and some really complex things being planned so my hope is that we can accomplish 2-3 of them and see where that gets us.

Here’s to 2019 let’s hope it’s the most creative year yet!

My New Year’s Resolutions

So each year you have that old adage “New year, new me.” Well I have personally never prescribed to this, but I do something a little bit different than everyone else. Me being different? No way!

Sarcasm aside, a lot of people like to go to the gym more religiously or start a diet. I prefer to work on improving my mental health. I haven’t actively done this in a couple of years, but I feel like right now is time to start this tradition anew. I’ve decided to make two promises to myself.

  1. Stop taking things so seriously. This is more of a social aspect of my life that I need to reign in. I have a tendency to attribute too much of someone’s problem with me or attitude toward me as only my fault. When in reality it often is not the case. We are inherently selfish creatures and often times do not think outside ourselves, for this reason people can be having a bad day and even though we may think we directly cause it, often times this is not the case. This goes hand in hand with my work — sometimes I get people that come in that have a chip on their shoulder and I almost immediately attribute that to myself, when often times it is not the case. Does that make me immune from being an asshole and causing issues? No, but I feel as though I let these things get to me too much, when really it’s more about the other person and not myself.
  2. Letting people know where I stand. This is kind of like standing up for myself and not taking shit all in one resolution. I realize that in order to let things be less stressful in the moment that I do not address things that require addressing. This has led to some situations, particularly lately, that I believe I helped create. I am not going to do this anymore. If you piss me off, I am going to let you know about it. As someone eloquently put it recently, “Always speak your truth. People around you deserve to know how you feel.” I have already started doing this, and it has made me feel a million times better.

So there ya have it. That’s about it. I don’t hold myself to some rigorous workout regime that I know I can’t keep up, I instead silently give myself  little mantras to live by, and to remind myself frequently that life can be less stressful if you maybe worked on some of these areas.

I hope whoever is reading this that the New Year goes well for you, and in the event that it does not, that you maybe make some Resolutions to help you through tougher times. Be kind to yourself and others. What New Years Resolutions do you all aspire to? What are some places that need to be worked on? Feel free to comment on this, or my Facebook posts where I upload my blogs.

Thanks for reading,